A few days ago, I was checking Twitter during a rare moment of
internet connectivity (I was completely off the grid on a permaculture
farm/bnb/communal experiment thing in Costa Rica, but more to the
point, I was on vacation) when I saw a message from a name I didn’t
recognize. “Hi Kelli, I know you’re OOO, but…” I didn’t read the rest.
What I did do was hit the little ‘delete message’ icon faster than I
ever have before. Sure, I’ve gotten death threats over stuff I’ve
written, but this message had me well and truly scandalized! Fast
forward to today. I’m sitting on the bed of my hotel, getting a head
start on email catch-up as I wait for my partner to get out of the
shower (travel days are okay to work on! But just a little!), when I
see the name from the Twitter message. She’s a publicist. Wants to
know if I might feature clients of hers in one of my columns. She sent
this message, got my OOO, and took it to the DMs. I cringed so hard I
nearly popped an abdominal muscle. Now look. Heart to heart, I’m not
exactly a portrait of grace. I mess up. I put my foot in my mouth. I
use the smirking purple devil emoji inappropriately in professional
communications. But here’s one lesson I feel entitled to impart:
Never, under any circumstances, message someone for professional
purposes on social media after receiving an out-of office autoreply
from their email account. If the reasons why aren’t obvious — and to
some, they apparently aren’t!—I will list a few below: It’s invasive.
Social media side-channeling for professional purposes is (only
marginally) okay for nudging someone you’re actively working with, or
for getting an email address with which to continue a professional
conversation. Otherwise? It’s a total invasion of personal space.
Ultimately, a good rule of thumb is to avoid messaging someone you
don’t have an established relationship with — whether for professional
purposes or personal ones. It’s incredibly rude! Manners are manners,
and an OOO is a pretty clear boundary. It says, “Hey, I see that
you’re trying to protect a lil chunk of personal time right now, but I
don’t really feel like respecting that today.” Anyway, I should have
replied by succinctly relaying some version of the above points.
Instead, I told her I deleted the DM before reading it. Because, I
explained, I was on vacation.